hopefully won’t be procrastinating much longer
It’s only been a few years since I started meaning to do a particular money thing asap.
I thought today was the day. It may very well still be.
I’ve had this idea for a few years to write down how much money I should have saved by the end of each calendar year, both to have a goal to organize around, and also to know whether my retirement financial plan is on track or if I need to make adjustments.
(Here is how the pull of procrastination works for me around this item. a) I’m obsessing about whether or not everyone’s First Name is filled in within the database. If the first line is messed up and doesn’t have your name, I apologize, that oversight is me fighting the good fight against procrastinating while I’m procrastinating. b) I stared for a few good minutes at the phrase “, and also”. I argued in my mind between it’s redundant vs I need that additonal emphasis. Then the debate continued around using additional and emphasis together.)
Sometimes I perceive I have a hard time completing a task because it’s meant to be shared, meant to be something I don’t force solitude around. That’s where YOU come in!! I’m going to share the steps with you; hopefully it will spur some ideas for you as well. At the very least we can compare procrastination creativity notes. (But don’t let me enable your attention deficits unless it serves your process well!)
Items I want to know (thank you again for being there…this is my first time committing it to a page):
- how much is the goal to have saved at the end of each year
- how much is the expected earnings for that year
- how much is the expected spend for that year, divided by business and personal
- what are the amounts expected in each “bucket” of savings at the end of each year
- therefore what are the savings target amounts per bucket for the following year
Literally just writing that much made me nauseous. This is deeply confronting for me. I want to try every font in here just to change things around. I want to paste in video of kittens playing with ponies dressed up in unicorn horn tiaras. Which of course will take me so much time to search and if I can’t find it then I need to work on creating the footage myself. See you in 2 years!!!!!!!!!
Now I’m taking some deep breaths because my temples got smaller and harder already in this process. I’m pushing my feet into the ground. Rolling my shoulders around. Just noting the nausea, and encouraging the circulation to get going again.
Okay for the next step, now I’ve created a new Google Sheets document. LOL I just thought through how could I share some of this structure with the reading friends here, and would it be so bad if I just shared all the data. Bless my heart. Yep, the habit to overshare when uncomfortable is still there as a go-to idea! Like planting little shame land mines for my future self. No thank you.
Okay next step, I named the document:
Beth’s Annual Savings Plan revised 8.8.23
Then I wrote 10 years out down the first column.
Then I dropped the tasks across the top row, one by one.
Then I cried a little bit because this is really hard and scary. I can feel panic breaths happening so I’m bringing in some box breaths. (From mindbodygreen.com, “Box breathing—also known as square breathing and 4-4-4-4 breathing—is a breathwork first popularized by Navy SEALs who used it to quickly sharpen concentration and enhance alertness. It requires inhaling for four counts, holding your breath for four counts, exhaling for four counts, and then holding your breath again for four counts.”)
I realized it will be helpful to have my age there along with year’s end. That’s real.
Well. Now I’ve got chills like something stung me and the poison is running throughout my system.
GROWING PAINS!!!!!
I want clarity.
I want you to have the clarity you want.
I want to build the muscles to tolerate fiscal self-esteem.
I want to take care of my past, present, and future selves.
I want to align with people who are also taking good care of their finances AND their vitality. (Some tasks overlap to care for them, most seemingly do not.)
I want to keep the financial picture in perspective. It’s important, it counts, it makes a difference, it’s not everything, it’s not nearly the most important value, and it needs tending like a good garden.
I want to be a fun and clear adult when it comes to money stuff.
I want to stay on the learning and growing path in this area, even when it is so uncomfortable sometimes.
I want to find people who want professional support in this area from someone who likes to be relatively transparent about their own challenges and desires in the financial realm.
I want to easily have some money to leave behind for my loved ones and cherished causes, when it’s time for me to physically go entirely off the life grid.
I want to be aligned with people who can enjoy shiny experiences and are also willing to see beyond illusion when its time.
I want to practice my way out of ever believing, “I can’t afford that.” Choices choices choices.
Well, now my time window is closing. Thanks for being here. It’s not for the faint of heart, is it. Sending you love and deep breaths.
I don’t have enough time to make this pretty, you’ll just need to click if you dare, another of my offerings to optimal procrastination:
https://stock.adobe.com/images/little-red-kitten-sitting-on-the-head-of-white-shetland-pony/119704823
PS Yes, this task still will require a lot of my attention. I’ll just leave the tab open on my computer for now and let it marinate. Too tender to marathon this one.